oh the stories i've got stored up. i was out for breakfast with emily and wes one morning and afterwards we decided to kill some time by taking a stroll down the street. we ran into one of the customers from the pharmacy outside of the bakery.
me: "hello mr. ______"
customer: *blank stare*
me: "i'm from the pharmacy"
customer: "oh! hello! i didn't recognize you with your clothes on"
me: *stunned silence*
emily: "oh you probably always see her with her white lab coat on"
me: "oh that's ok lots of people don't recognize me when i'm not behind the pharmacy counter. have a good day!"
customer: "thanks you too. good to see you!"
we walk away and emily turns to me and says: "what kind of business are you running over there? no clothes on!"
the absolute best part was that the customer had no idea about the awkwardness of his statement. not a single clue.
well maybe i'll be getting that $ store bonus after all: last week a man came into the store and bought *drumroll please*:
12 pairs of reading glasses
15 boxes of bandaids
numerous and various bottles of cleaning chemicals
around 16 boxes of aluminum foil!
anything and everything he could throw at the front counter
for a grand total of ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY DOLLARS worth of dollar store items! what sir pray tell are you DOING with all that foil? building a shield so satelites can't spy on you? and then you sustained many cuts whilst doing so and needed bandaids? your work was so tedious that you needed reading glasses? this guy was just a trip and a half. first of all he strolls into the pharmacy and i walked over to the counter to greet him.
me: "hello sir can i help you?"
foilman: "where's the doc? how can i get a refill? i need a refill?"
me: "i can help you with that sir"
foilman: "ok here's my name: Mr. ______ _. ____aunstein"
i start writing and he jumps in with: "for those of you Gentiles out there my name is spelled with an AU NOT an O.
oooookkkkk. so i fix it. and say: "do you have the refill numbers with you?"
foilman: "numbers? no i don't have numbers!"
me: "ok which medications do you need today sir?"
foilman: "what do you MEAN what medications do i want? why i've come to the pharmacy why would i tell you what i want? i want them all! just fill whatever you can. i come here once a month, i get what i want and i leave and don't bother you for another month".
me: "oooookkkkk. we'll have those ready in a few minutes"
SIGH.
so in the meantime this dude apparently came with crazyeye dave, a customer that i really have issues with. he gives me the CREEPIEST looks ever, usually watching my every move while i attempt to fill his prescriptions for him. i am polite but brief in all of my interactions with him. well i guess he and foilman are friends. foilman started freaking out about the dollar store and it's amazing deals. he began PILING items on the cash register counter. he was like a tornado moving about the store. he kept throwing me containers and demanding that i read them to him. he was worried about the ingriedients in things. all the while crazyeye is wandering in and out watching me, foilman is destroying my store. they were there a total of at least 30 minutes. foilman kept trying to leave the store with merchandise before paying. eventually it took all three employees to move to the front of the store and ask him politely to stay INSIDE while we were ringing up his stuff (we don't have time to tie up our register for half an hour if he's not really buying anything) and PLEASE stop removing items from the store. the pharmacist at one point even asked the man to give me $200 immediatley to ensure that all of our work wasn't going to result in him walking away without buying this stuff and leave us with one heck of a mess to clean up. he did in fact pay for his purchases and also managed to pay me a compliment: "i don't mean this to be fresh but can i just say that you have an amazing complexion?". oy vey.
and to top it off the one woman circus act stopped by that day also. this lady is OBSESSED with her valued customer points. for every $50 that our customers spend on prescriptions they earn 2 points towards non-prescription purchases. each point translates into one dollar. this lady forgets that she uses up her points and each time she comes in she gets upset when she has no points left. what usually happens is the person running the register forgets that she spent them and changes her account to say that she has like 12 points or something. not only does she want to use HER points, she wants to use her husbands points too, which she does not realize requires me to start a new transaction b/c his points are under a differenet account. so i spend about 10 minutes finding her points and switching between her and her husband's accounts while she stands in line and gets everyone around her to start demanding that they get points too (even if they have none). the regular cashier has deemed her "mrs. _____'s one act-circus". she causes chaos in the store every single time she comes in.
me: "hello mr. ______"
customer: *blank stare*
me: "i'm from the pharmacy"
customer: "oh! hello! i didn't recognize you with your clothes on"
me: *stunned silence*
emily: "oh you probably always see her with her white lab coat on"
me: "oh that's ok lots of people don't recognize me when i'm not behind the pharmacy counter. have a good day!"
customer: "thanks you too. good to see you!"
we walk away and emily turns to me and says: "what kind of business are you running over there? no clothes on!"
the absolute best part was that the customer had no idea about the awkwardness of his statement. not a single clue.
well maybe i'll be getting that $ store bonus after all: last week a man came into the store and bought *drumroll please*:
12 pairs of reading glasses
15 boxes of bandaids
numerous and various bottles of cleaning chemicals
around 16 boxes of aluminum foil!
anything and everything he could throw at the front counter
for a grand total of ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY DOLLARS worth of dollar store items! what sir pray tell are you DOING with all that foil? building a shield so satelites can't spy on you? and then you sustained many cuts whilst doing so and needed bandaids? your work was so tedious that you needed reading glasses? this guy was just a trip and a half. first of all he strolls into the pharmacy and i walked over to the counter to greet him.
me: "hello sir can i help you?"
foilman: "where's the doc? how can i get a refill? i need a refill?"
me: "i can help you with that sir"
foilman: "ok here's my name: Mr. ______ _. ____aunstein"
i start writing and he jumps in with: "for those of you Gentiles out there my name is spelled with an AU NOT an O.
oooookkkkk. so i fix it. and say: "do you have the refill numbers with you?"
foilman: "numbers? no i don't have numbers!"
me: "ok which medications do you need today sir?"
foilman: "what do you MEAN what medications do i want? why i've come to the pharmacy why would i tell you what i want? i want them all! just fill whatever you can. i come here once a month, i get what i want and i leave and don't bother you for another month".
me: "oooookkkkk. we'll have those ready in a few minutes"
SIGH.
so in the meantime this dude apparently came with crazyeye dave, a customer that i really have issues with. he gives me the CREEPIEST looks ever, usually watching my every move while i attempt to fill his prescriptions for him. i am polite but brief in all of my interactions with him. well i guess he and foilman are friends. foilman started freaking out about the dollar store and it's amazing deals. he began PILING items on the cash register counter. he was like a tornado moving about the store. he kept throwing me containers and demanding that i read them to him. he was worried about the ingriedients in things. all the while crazyeye is wandering in and out watching me, foilman is destroying my store. they were there a total of at least 30 minutes. foilman kept trying to leave the store with merchandise before paying. eventually it took all three employees to move to the front of the store and ask him politely to stay INSIDE while we were ringing up his stuff (we don't have time to tie up our register for half an hour if he's not really buying anything) and PLEASE stop removing items from the store. the pharmacist at one point even asked the man to give me $200 immediatley to ensure that all of our work wasn't going to result in him walking away without buying this stuff and leave us with one heck of a mess to clean up. he did in fact pay for his purchases and also managed to pay me a compliment: "i don't mean this to be fresh but can i just say that you have an amazing complexion?". oy vey.
and to top it off the one woman circus act stopped by that day also. this lady is OBSESSED with her valued customer points. for every $50 that our customers spend on prescriptions they earn 2 points towards non-prescription purchases. each point translates into one dollar. this lady forgets that she uses up her points and each time she comes in she gets upset when she has no points left. what usually happens is the person running the register forgets that she spent them and changes her account to say that she has like 12 points or something. not only does she want to use HER points, she wants to use her husbands points too, which she does not realize requires me to start a new transaction b/c his points are under a differenet account. so i spend about 10 minutes finding her points and switching between her and her husband's accounts while she stands in line and gets everyone around her to start demanding that they get points too (even if they have none). the regular cashier has deemed her "mrs. _____'s one act-circus". she causes chaos in the store every single time she comes in.
3 comments:
melissa, you're a riot! again, i ended up with tears in my eyes! loved the descriptions of "crazy eye dave" and "foilman." LOL
When creating your own personal foil hat, always remember:
Aliens about? Shiny side out. Government again? Shiny side in.
here's what you do: you develop your own "crazy eye" stare to keep the one act circus lady at bay. then you run like hell because foilman obviously wants to make a bomb.
by the way, i think i remember meeting you at dave's wedding. i didn't recognize you with your clothes on. and not to be fresh, but you had a nice complexion.
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