conversations that happened in the last ten minutes:
lisa enters my room and says : ugh! did you see the preying mantis out back when you left for work this morning? it was hanging on to the back porch railing and it was all smushed into the corner. it's creepy little eyes were closed and it was sleeping!
i explained to her that i have not seen this preying mantis which has become her so called archnemesis. i told her that she has much bigger things to worry about than preying mantis(es?). she chooses instead to worry about bugs. we discussed that is not harmful. her reasons for not liking it include:
it's a prEying mantis, not a prAying mantis and therefor not friendly
it might get stuck in her hair
it follows her (apparently it once zoomed through the air and flew past her and josh while they were sitting on the porch swing)
josh told her that these bugs can grow up to 12 inches in length
"i had to check to make sure it wasn't watching me"
"you need to know your enemies"
in the middle of this a cat meows loudly. i swear this cat outside can throw it's voice. it must sit right outside one of the windows and scream. every single time we are in seperate rooms and we all claim it could have been sitting right next to us. anyway lisa then says: my comptuer just meowed. or it was that cat outside that is mating. or maybe that cat isn't mating maybe it has that weird cat virus that is going around. i worry that it has the virus and is actually screaming for help.
alexis comes out of her room and says "in my family a preying mantis spotting was cause for celebration! my mom would be like ok kids lets go outside and see the preying mantis!!!"
i want to tape record our conversations. they would be much much funnier, i think i lose some of the essence when i try and type them out.
oh and wikipedia does not lie.
see lisa they ARE harmless.
upon further inspection i take it back.
7 comments:
Melissa - Wikipedia publishes things from random people. I do not care that some creepy bug lover likes "The Mantis" - FACT: they are gross. FACT: bugs bigger than a centimeter need to be kicked in the face
fact bears eat beets. bears beats battlestar galactica.
... Still wondering why you're hating on the Beastie Boys. Gianna wants to know, too...
i don't hate the beastie boys when i do not have to listen to more than one song in a row.
There's been a preying mantis living by the nursery exit of our church this summer & early fall. My boys (and I) have loved looking for it after church and Bible studies (does it not make you feel sheepish, Lisa, that apparently some preying mantises want to become praying mantises?). We haven't been able to find it the last few times we've been and I fear a violent end at the hands of some (may you feel convicted here) irrational, emotional, fear-driven mantis hater. I hope as the desire to destroy your mantis arises within your twisted and fearful bowels the faces of my three concerned boys will flash before the eyes of your conscience and keep you from acting in ill-placed passion.
Oh, and pleased to meet you, Lisa.
a) Did you read the wikipedia article you linked to twice? They ARE prAying mantids...named because they look like they are praying.
b) FACT: pictures of a praying mantis eating a hummingbird = awesome. I wish I could have seen it in person.
Umm, I do not feel sheepish. I stand by my convictions that they are pretty evil. Perhaps a hummingbird, driven by pure instinct and the God given self defense tactics that a hummingbird has, ATE THE MANTIS. I have not actually harmed the Mantis here, it hasn't made any sudden moves. Smart bug.
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